Aaron’s Story - Reflections for the National Survivors of Suicide Day
My life was first affected by suicide when I was 21 years old. I was living in a court-mandated drug rehab at the time. Marc Thompson was a young man that I had become good friends with in rehab. He was 20 years old. Marc walked out of the rehab on a Sunday afternoon. On Tuesday afternoon they found him. He had taken his own life. The night I heard the news about my friend, was a crossroads moment in my life. I could’ve given up and ended up just like Marc. Instead, I began making choices that night to point my life in a new direction. It was the first time I had ever taken my life seriously. I finished the rehab program and have been free from addiction for 10 ½ years now. I have also invested my life through Unite 4 Life to make sure other young people don’t have to end up like Marc.
In October of 2007 my life was impacted by suicide again. My best friend from high school, JD Riddle, took his own life after a series of difficult circumstances. He was 30 years old. We had only been able to stay in touch sparingly over the few years before his death and I regretted so much not doing more to stay involved in his life. I took the opportunity to share a few words at his funeral. I told everyone there that JD’s memory would continually inspire me to move forward with Unite 4 Life. I said that his legacy would not simply be of a life ended too soon, but his legacy would be carried on through Unite 4 Life and all the thousands of young people we reach out to. Aaron Chidester
Executive Director, Unite 4 Life
(Continued from our November 12th newsletter)
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I resorted to cutting, which thankfully was a one time ordeal, and I have no intention of relapsing back into it again. Now, I've been happily free of depression for at least 3-4 years, but it is still a time in my life that I regret whenever I reflect back on it.
Everything I was taught made me think back to these darker days of my life, and how horrible it felt to become numb to the world. I wanted to send my thanks in teaching me the tools I can use to help a friend who might be going through the same things I have. If I could stop someone from going down the same road I did, it would mean everything to me, and now I can.
So, thank you Unite 4 Life. I admire your goals and what you are doing for those affected by depression and suicide. Keep up the good work and spread the word around! Everyone should know how to help a friend in need, and I'm glad I have the tools to help one myself.
Email From a High School Student in Longview, WA
I just want to say that me attending my high school, as an insider, I can tell you that we really do need you to come and help us here. I have many friends that think dealing with pain in their life means causing themselves pain, and I could never survive if any of them ever took extreme actions. My friend that my mom was telling you about, she means the world to me, and if I ever lost her I don't know what I would do. At the moment she is in care, but only for a couple more days. I'm not saying that I want her to stay there forever, I just want her to get better and not even think of suicide as a resort to her problems anymore. I try my hardest to let her know that she is loved by many, and I try to keep her laughing because when she is it covers her sadness. Please, is there anything else I can do for her? I wish, hope and pray every day that she, and the rest of my friends decide to deal with their problems safely. I couldn't live without them.
I was amazed at the openness in the discussions in both of the classrooms. In both of the classes I spoke in at Amador Valley High School, there was so much sharing and participation. The pain was evident among these kids who knew the boy who had died by suicide recently. They seemed to ask the question, "Did he not care about how much pain he would cause to those who knew him?"
Both classes had kids who had attempted suicide. They felt comfortable sharing their struggles.
They felt trust was a huge issue sharing information about a potential suicide attempt. –Anju Bhatia, Classroom Speaker, Pleasanton
We took a call on our help line from a young girl who was a sophomore in high school. She had left class and was calling us from the bathroom at her school. Her friend, Carolyn, had just handed her a suicide note. It stated that Carolyn was going to take her life after school that day by overdosing on pills. The young lady was panicked and in tears when she called our help line. She didn’t know what to do. The help line operator was able to get her to give him Carolyn’s name. The operator then contacted the high school’s administration and hurried down to the school campus. Carolyn was pulled out of class by the counselors. They were able to intervene in time. Carolyn is still alive today and getting the help she needs. –Unite 4 Life Help Line, Livermore
After giving a classroom presentation to a group of high school freshman, Tom, one of our Unite 4 Life volunteers, was approached by a young lady. She said that she was really worried about her friend, a young man named Robert. Robert had opened up to her that he was being abused and was now seriously contemplating suicide. Tom took the young lady to the school administration and Robert was pulled out of class. In a meeting with his vice principal, the young lady, and two representatives from Unite 4 Life, Robert opened up to adults for the first time in his life that he was being sexually abused at home. It had been going on for ten years. The individual in question was arrested and Robert began receiving the help he needed. –Tom Beasley, Classroom Speaker, Livermore
I was walking the campus during lunch break as I usually do. One of our campus supervisors directed my attention toward a situation that was developing. A young lady was crying and was surrounded by several other girls. It appeared to be an intimidation situation. I quickly approached the group. As I got close enough to hear what was going on, I stopped to listen. It was not what it seemed to be. The young lady was opening up about being depressed. The group of girls around her were encouraging her and offering to take her to talk to an adult. These girls were not her regular group of friends, just concerned members of our student body. This type of atmosphere of students caring about each other typifies the results of having Unite 4 Life come to our campus. Those girls were given the recognition and appreciation they deserved. –John Dwyer, Principal, Foothill High School
Our crisis response team was working at a middle school following the death of a 7th grade girl. A young man was there named Eric and he was speaking with Chris, one of our volunteers. Eric was close friends with the young lady who had taken her life and the last time he saw her alive they had an unresolved argument. Here is what Chris said about the situation:
Eric said that he was a 6 on a scale of 1 to 10 as to the chances that he would attempt suicide. He covered his face with his hair as if to hide. We talked about it not being his fault and his dreams about life. When we talked about hope and life, he pulled his hair back and let me see his face. His demeanor changed and he opened up more about family and his interests. After his mom was called down to the school, he willingly sat down and talked to a police officer. His mom agreed to take him straight to a professional who could give him the support he needed. The school handled it all so well and worked with the parents, the police, and Unite 4 Life to come up with the best help for Eric. – Chris Thielen, Crisis Response Team, Livermore
I think my success story that I am most proud of came recently. I was at church on Sunday morning and was talking to some friends after the service when a young girl approached me with her mother. She introduced herself and asked if I remembered her. She was in one of my classrooms at Foothill High School. She and her mom thanked me for taking time out of my day to speak for such a serious cause. They informed me that what we are speaking about is truly working, and the students are listening. This was such a rewarding feeling! – Sammi Montano, Classroom Speaker, Livermore
Aaron was on–call on our help line and took a call at 1:00am on a weekday morning. A young man named Daniel had called because he really needed someone to talk to. Daniel was a junior in high school. After he opened up about the situations he was going through, Aaron asked him if he was thinking about suicide. "Yes, I’m thinking about it all the time," was Daniel’s response. After spending a long time together on the phone, Aaron got a commitment from Daniel that he would not hurt himself until Aaron could refer him to a counselor. That next day Daniel went in to see the counselor. The counselor then contacted Daniel’s mom to let her know the severity of the situation. His mom was able to intervene and get Daniel the long–term help he needed. This is what Aaron says about what happened the next day:
Daniel’s mom called me. She was so grateful; almost in tears, in fact, as she thanked me for being available to help Daniel. She never would have known how serious the situation was if we had not been there for Daniel to open up to. It is conversations like this with parents that continue to motivate me to do more for Unite 4 Life. – Aaron Chidester, Help Line Operator, Livermore
